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2/17/2017 Understardng Domestic Abusers: Gender and Intimate Partner Mdence- Gender and domestic abuse - NYS OPDV 0 Defer to men. o Be nice — you can "catch more flies with honey." o Adapt to things you don't like; endure what you can't control. o Soothe other people's anger. o Shut up! Keep your feelings to yourself — especially anger. o Keep the peace. o Keep the family together. o Take responsibility for how men treat you. o Don't be too "demanding." This does not mean that women can't be abusive — just that both social power arrangements and their learning histories work against them engaging in coercive control. Research on gender and domestic abuse There are two main approaches to studying IPV — crime victimization studies and family conflict surveys. These differ in several ways, so it is no surprise that they produce quite different results. • They focus on different populations: Family conflict research often studies couples in counseling, while crime victimization research studies people using domestic violence services or contacting law enforcement. Since targets of situational violence usually do not need the services of hospitals, police, and shelters, they are a relatively small minority of individuals in agency studies. • They ask different questions: What has your partner done to you? vs. What do you and your partner do during arguments? • They begin with different definitions of IPV: coercive control vs. conflict. Evidence for the predominance of men among abusers comes from crime victimization studies like the National Crime Victimization Survey, in which people are asked about many forms of abuse,84 the context in which it has occurred, the actors' motivations, and the consequences of the assault $5 These studies tap into coercive control — IPV that is severe, that escalates over time, and that is committed by men 340 times more often than by women, depending on the study. "Data in samples obtained primarily from women's shelters, court -mandated treatment programs, police reports, and emergency rooms are more likely to report... Coercive Controlling Violence. It is characterized by power and control and more often results in injuries to women. In these samples, the violence is asymmetric and perpetrated largely by men against their partners.."86 It is possible that the fact that shelters mostly serve women with male partners and abuser programs overwhelmingly are aimed at men who abuse women, makes the proportion of heterosexual male abusers look somewhat larger than it is. Nonetheless, these results fit with other research showing that men's overall rates of violence — domestic and non-domestic — are almost 9 times those of women. Michael Kimmel points out that this difference in rates of violence is the only large, robust gender difference found in the sex difference literature $Z Aren't there more female abusers and male victims than people think? The Myth: The number of female abusers only seems small, because most male victims are too ashamed to contact law enforcement or domestic violence services. The Reality. There is little evidence that male victims report abuse significantly less than women do 8$ In 2008, for instance, an estimated 72% of IPV against males was reported to police, vs. only 49% of IPV against females �19- When men don't report an incident to police, they usually say WJAN".gxW.ny g wffiratessionWs/Wmws/gmeWardpv ttmI 23 V